How to Pick Up Chicks

While we wait, still, to have an adjuster look at our RV (yes, we are still squatting in my parent’s guest house, which is a bitch since I’m estranged from my father and can’t go in their house), I thought I might delight you with another tail of breaking down, at a chicken farm, in our now slightly toasted RV.

Those of you who know me know that I am a vegan and an animal lover. I’m one of those annoying people who want to be able to take our baby...

everywhere you take your baby:

Yeah, I know infants don’t always cry, but my baby doesn’t always shit in her pants, so there is that. Anyway, back to the story-

After we purchased our RV, in kind of a rush since the one we rented to go to my niece’s wedding in Nebraska wasn't going to be running when we needed it…hmm, I’m sensing a pattern here…we headed for Oriental to pick up my mom for the trip. We made it about 50 miles, as the chicken flies (do they fly?) before we had a blowout right next to, what we later discovered was, a chicken farm.

We spent approximately 10 hours at that farm and during that time, I had the distinct urge to free the chicks from their captivity. John said that would be a federal offense, so I weighed the options of becoming someone’s bitch in prison with sitting in an air-conditioned truck, and I guiltily chose my own comfort. Also, it would be my luck that they would all run out onto the highway and be decimated by traffic. It’s tough being indignant and selfish all at the same time, but I managed to achieve it with aplomb.

The farmer, we’ll just call him Old McDonald, or OD for short, helped John most of the day; OD even had a comparable tire and pulled the old one off the wheel and replaced it. Then we discovered a fuse busted, and OD had a fuse kit to replace it. Who knew an animal murder accomplice could be so helpful? John just informed me his name is Ron. Now all I can think of is Ronald McDonald.

We finally limped into Oriental at 2 am the next morning and decided to rent an SUV for the trip so as to avoid any further calamity. Which, of course, did not prevent further calamity. Stay tuned.