The Heat is On

I’m sure when Glen Frey wrote the song referenced in the title of this post, he never dreamed that someone would use it to write about their dog in diapers. Thanks (and sorry,and RIP) Glenn. At least you’re not around to see your “Beverly Hills Cop” masterpiece denigrated in such a way.

When we got Chloe, the Humane Society listed her as potty-trained and spayed. I’m not positive but, unless potty-trained means being trained to pee and poop whenever and wherever she damn well pleases, they were a bit off on that one. Suffice it to say, we have pretty much nipped that one in the bud.

I’ll tell you one thing though, it is damn hard to train a one year-old dog. You say, ‘come!’-and they say, ‘yeeeaaaah, maybe not. You got food? No? I’ll be right over here until you succumb to my demands.’

Also at the time of her adoption, documentation from her previous vet, as well as the Humane Society, stated that she was spayed. Last week, random spots of blood began appearing on the floor of our home, leading me to believe that either the spay information was wildly invalid, or that we had a mini Amityville Horror going on. It was Chloe, although I’m not sure that was the scenario I was hoping for.

Now we have to worry about the boys.

I was not familiar with females in heat before this incident, and I don’t want to be familiar with it ever again. Mom and I were walking outside behind Chloe and she asked, ‘what is that between Chloe’s legs?’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘That big thing hanging there!’ ‘Mom, that is her swollen vulva.’ ‘Oh, it looks like she has balls.’ Sigh.

And don't get me started on dog diapers-they must be encrusted with jewels for the price they are charging! We avoided that mess by purchasing store brand baby diapers and cutting a tail hole in them. We MacGyver’ed those sons of bitches!

Chloe goes to the vet tomorrow morning to put an end to her little adventure. Good thoughts for the little girl with the, soon to be, little vulva.